


Let's Stay Together

by goodwineandcheese



Category: Monster
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 13:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17081021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodwineandcheese/pseuds/goodwineandcheese
Summary: Tenma arrives at Hotel Versteck to find Grimmer dying. He does all that he can to save him, and slowly, Grimmer recovers. This story takes place in that time of slow healing; Grimmer wonders why the doctor fought so hard to save a man with little to no chance of survival. Tenma knows, of course.





	Let's Stay Together

**Author's Note:**

> A fic I wrote for a friend for her birthday! It’s a few days late but happy bday to [spyromancy](http://spyromancy.tumblr.com)! It’s pretty much just a fluffy take on “Tenma actually does his job as a doctor and saves Grimmer” and goes on from there….it’s just cute. No bad.
> 
> I took a few liberties with canon on this one - the months the event of Ruhenheim takes place have been changed and the general scenario of That scene in Ruhenheim were changed a bit for the sake of this fic.

He hadn’t wanted to leave Grimmer alone. Even if he was with Wim and that couple...even if they were armed, just in case...he hadn’t wanted to leave. Not until he was sure that Grimmer would pull through. But Grimmer had asked him to save Lunge. To help him. And he _knew…_ if he stayed, if he stayed and _Lunge_ were to die...then he would only feel worse.

Even now, he was still haunted by what happened that day in Ruhenheim. Everything - the day he saved Johan, the deaths that followed him everywhere as he chased down the murderer he’d brought back to life, and finally the horrific tragedy of Ruhenheim.

Selfishly, he was glad that no one he cared for died that day. Nina. Gillen. Grimmer. 

He was _allowed_ that gladness, it wasn’t _wrong._ But somehow, he still felt guilty for it. _No_ lives should have been lost that day, and yet…

...No. Now wasn’t the time for those thoughts. He was here to visit Grimmer; he should be glad.

The woman at the admin desk looked up as Tenma stepped through the doors, wiping his shoes off on the mat before he stepped forward, reaching to tuck strands of hair behind his ear, finding none, remembering that not a few days ago he’d had at least a few inches cut.

He still did that sometimes, out of habit.

“If you want to see him, he’s in the west gardens.” 

Tenma opened his mouth, then closed it for a moment, nodding with a smile. “Thank you.”

Emillie - by now, he knew her by name - had grown used to his visits; she knew who he was here to see. Ever since Grimmer was first admitted to the hospital, he’d spent enough time coming to see the man, observing his recovery. It was coming along smoothly; he was at the point where he was up and walking, in short periods, throughout the day. No strenuous activity, no running, nothing that would raise his heart rate too far beyond the normal, but getting some exercise, using his muscles, was important to the recovery process.

Tenma headed out into the west courtyard, closing his eyes as the gentlest of autumn breezes greeted him, slightly chilly against his face and neck - no longer protected by his curtain of dark hair - though it was hardly _cold._ It spoke of the chill to come, reminded him he would need to locate his scarf, wherever it had been stuffed. He looked out toward the quiet gardens. There were a few patients there, most accompanied by doctors, some with visitors. Grimmer was at a point where he could come and go freely without any real assistance - so long as he stayed _within_ the hospital grounds, and had a nurse's supervision, just in case.

He was sitting at one of the benches, watching a younger boy, perhaps aged eleven, sitting with his mother. He was in a wheelchair, but he seemed happy, coherent, and was laughing. 

“Another visit, doctor? I’ve definitely become quite popular…!”

Tenma glanced back at Grimmer, at the warm expression he wore, those squinted eyes, the curve of his lips. He couldn’t help but smile in return as he headed toward the bench, sitting down beside the other man.

“Is that so? Is that a good or bad thing?”

Grimmer leaned his head back, taking a long, slow, deep breath.

“I dunno! Jan came by, he seems to be afraid I’ll pass out any minute, but I think it’s the other way around...he’s a little bit nervous, too much so I think. Ah, and the Inspector, too. Apparently I’ve been cleared of all charges in the murder investigation...that’s a relief!” 

Tenma gave a soft huff, nodding slowly. He’d been in contact with both, of course. Lunge had been the one to let him know that Grimmer was free of those charges...he’d been incredibly glad, after the stunt he’d pulled in Prague, submitting a letter to the police like that...he’d wondered if it would work, but Verdemann was a miracle to them all.

He could feel Grimmer watching him and turned, blinking a couple of times. He didn’t speak right away, hoping the man would pick up on his silent _is something wrong?_ \- and was met with a subtle appreciative nod and a hum.

“You cut your hair.”

Right. He wouldn’t have seen that yet. Tenma reached up instinctively to comb fingers through it, nodding and glancing away, almost sheepish, though there was really no reason to be.

“I did.”

“You look quite professional now! Like a doctor. Very sharp.”

Tenma chuckled, smiling a little more warmly. That was _probably_ a compliment. 

“Well, I’m glad you approve.” he chirped, his tone brighter, though it quickly softened, Tenma letting the mild banter shift aside for a moment.

“How are you feeling?”

Grimmer’s own expression mellowed then - still a smile, rarely was it anything _but_ a smile - but more subdued, subtle as he eyed the doctor with a quiet sidelong glance and a shrug of his shoulders.

“It’s not terrible, definitely better than before! As you can see for yourself, I’m sure. Though--” He paused, stretching a little, spreading both arms out in a wide gesture, slowly. “--it definitely hurts if I move too abruptly or in unusual ways. Even stretching like this, if I’m not careful!”

Tenma gave him a look, his brow quirked slightly. “Then don’t _do_ that.”

Grimmer relaxed, hands clasping behind his head. He closed his eyes and faced straight ahead. “Indeed, that would be the wiser choice, wouldn’t it? But when I feel the need to stretch, I’m afraid wisdom doesn’t always win…” He opened one eye, tilting his head to smirk at Tenma. “I must be a very bothersome patient.”

Tenma chuckled. He’d heard well enough from Grimmer’s attending physician. He wasn’t the worst as patients went, but as habitual creatures, it was difficult _not_ to do certain things, even knowing it would be painful.

There was another breeze, and Grimmer sucked in a light breath, letting it out in a soft shudder. 

“That was especially brisk!”

Tenma had felt it, too. A sign from the weather that perhaps it was about to get chilly, and while _he_ didn’t mind, he didn’t particularly think that Grimmer should be out in the cold.

“Shall we head inside?”

Tenma’s voice was soft, but there was an implicit note to his tone that it wasn't a question; they were best off heading indoors. The other man hummed, nodding his head after a moment as he made to stand. Tenma watched his movement - it was slower, careful. He didn’t catch any wincing, any tension in his muscles from sudden pain, which meant he was taking care not to disrupt his healing. That was good. It was probably going to be slow going for another couple of weeks yet; he’d been lucky that those wounds weren’t fatal, truth be told.

“Is there something strange about me, right now?”

Tenma’s head jerked, gaze shifting quickly to Grimmer’s eyes, to the practiced false smile he wore. He had no idea where that question had come from….what it was about. Did he mean something specific? Or...was it a more general question? It was so hard to tell with Grimmer, who even now seemed to struggle with expression. Habits were hard to kill, after all.

“No, I’m...nothing. Why do you ask?”

Grimmer’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a sigh.

“Phew! You were staring quite intensely, I wondered if something might be wrong!”

...Oh. 

Tenma let out his own relieved sigh. It was just...an observation. Tenma probably looked extremely pensive, even worried...he _was_ worried, but...he probably shouldn’t be showing that in front of Grimmer. It was too likely that he’d misinterpret and think something was wrong. Just like now. 

Tenma managed a small, warm smile and shook his head, once more reaching to brush hair behind his ear and finding empty nothingness.

“I’m just a little concerned, that’s all. I know that you’re fine, but I can’t help it. I’ll…” He trailed off, shrugging lightly as he and Grimmer made their way toward the doors back inside. “I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea. I’ll try to keep myself in check.”

He held the door open for the taller man, noting as Grimmer’s expression shifted, his lips falling down into a faint frown.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, doctor. You shouldn’t hide it, what you’re feeling.”

Before he could answer, Grimmer was speaking again, his eyes brightening, lips curving up into a smile that wasn’t like the other, false one. This one felt more real.

“Truthfully it’s very warming to me, hearing that you’re concerned. It’s quite incredible, to think that my wellbeing holds value to someone. I think that’s wonderful.”

Tenma...hadn’t thought of it like that. But from Grimmer’s perspective...it really _was_ difficult for him to think that others...that they cared. He’d said the same about the boys in Prague, he hadn’t understood why they liked him. That sort of thing...humans feeling fondness for each other...it wasn’t easy to simply perceive. For someone like Grimmer…

“Of _course_ you matter. Not just to me...the boys, Suk and Lunge...they’re all…”

He trailed off, shaking his head. He didn’t need to say more. Grimmer seemed to sense his agitation, clapping his shoulder gently as the door closed behind them.

“I know. But, even so, it’s nice to _see_ that you worry. To really see compassion...that’s something pleasant for me.”

Put like that, Tenma could understand a little better. It wasn’t that Grimmer didn’t know that others cared for him, it was about...being able to see those emotions unfold. He gave a tired sort of smile, nodding as he and Grimmer headed to the elevator, taking him to his room. Grimmer eased past the doctor, sitting comfortably on his bed with a quiet sigh.

“There we go! Much better…”

Tenma looked around the room, finding the chair he’d left there tucked around the corner. He pulled it towards Grimmer’s bed, sitting down opposite to the man.

“And you’re not feeling light-headed at all, or out of breath…?”

He couldn’t help but doctor the man a _little…_ it was just his nature, as a medical professional. Grimmer only shook his head, his own tired expression turning into something like a smirk.

“I’m definitely not that fragile, doctor.”

Tenma opened his mouth, about to protest, but paused. That look was….humoured, just a tease. He was just...teasing Tenma for being such a worrier. He closed his mouth again, shaking his head, moving on. 

“You’ll be discharged from the hospital in two weeks. There’s still more recovery after that, and you’ll have to report in now and then at your doctor’s discretion, but...you’re making a quick recovery.” 

He clasped his hands together, gaze falling, a wave of something almost painful clenching in his heart. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but none of it was coming to him. All he could manage was-

“I’m glad.”

He still remembered that day, raw and fresh as though it had just happened. He had responded to everything numbly, coldly; there wasn’t room for emotions in the moment, no room to let himself feel. But when it was all over...when Johan was in recovery….when he had gone back for Grimmer, taken him into care, when he was sure that Grimmer had cleared the worst, that he was going to live…

Tenma had thought he’d be calm, happy. Instead, he’d felt an even deeper pain. Never had the feeling of _relief_ caused his heart to burn and swell as much as it did then. He didn’t know how long he’d cried...it wasn’t all for Grimmer, it was for everyone, _everything,_ but at the core of it all, knowing that Grimmer was going to survive…

Even he couldn’t have named those emotions, everything that went through his heart at once.

He wasn’t sure what he would have done, if Grimmer had died that day.

Grimmer hummed, tilting his head as he watched the doctor. “I suppose I have no choice but to behave until then! I’d rather not be cooped up in here much longer, if I can help it.” He looked up, gaze becoming distant. “I’d like to go see those boys again soon.” 

Grimmer’s voice sounded wistful, even a little lonely. Tenma could understand...Grimmer always seemed like someone who was on the go; being stuck in a place like this was probably uncomfortable for him. And the boys...he missed them. Thinking about it, maybe Tenma could arrange something...some sort of visit. He knew they’d like that.

“You know, what you did, doctor…”

Tenma’s eyes flicked up, catching Grimmer’s pale blues. He couldn’t tell what Grimmer was thinking, his expression resetting back to that smile he always wore. Whether he was intentionally wearing it - hiding what he felt from Tenma - or it was just a subconscious gesture, Tenma couldn’t tell. He liked to think it was the latter, that Grimmer trusted him with his feelings.

“I really expected to die, then. But what you did there, in Ruhenheim…” The taller man shifted a little on the bed, pressing his hand against the worst of the wounds, now almost non-existent except in memory and scarring. “You put a lot on the line for me. I asked you to go, to help Lunge. But you took that time to make sure I had a chance to live.” 

He caught Tenma’s eye, his expression shifting. “I think about that a lot. I looked pretty bad...I really didn’t think that there was hope for me. But even with that...you still tried.”

Tenma felt a heaviness in his chest, balling his hands into gently held fists. He had tried, hoping beyond hope, fighting against logic to save a dying man. Almost anyone else would have considered Grimmer a lost cause; with the blood loss he’d sustained, there was an almost negligible chance he would survive. But even knowing those odds…

“There are too many people who count on you. Who care about you. I couldn’t…”

Couldn’t. Couldn’t...what? 

_Let those people down. Let **you** down. Lose you._

His abrupt and frantic thoughts were frozen when Tenma felt a warm hand eclipse his own, all too gentle and comforting. His eyes fell to that hand, steady and confident and not like his at all, tensed against his roiling emotions.

“It’s painful for you to think about.” Grimmer’s voice was soft, soothing, as comforting as the hand that held his own. “You were afraid that you might have failed, weren’t you? But…” He gave Tenma’s hand a little, brief squeeze. “I’m here, so it’s all right. I’m here, and it’s because of you.”

Tenma...appreciated the gesture. Grimmer could probably see just how worried he’d been all this time; all throughout his slow recovery Tenma had been overly attentive of his companion’s wellbeing. Having that gentle reassurance right now...Tenma felt just a little better. Of course, logically he knew Grimmer was fine, but it was that worry in him, a voice he couldn’t silence.

That steady hand against his own helped. It quieted that anxious worrying. He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes and taking a slow breath, letting it out in a sigh. He focused on that hand, on the person in front of him. The focus helped ease his mind.

“Thank you.”

A low chuckle brought his attention back to the other man's face. Grimmer was smirking at him, seemingly amused by something.

“I do believe that’s backwards, isn’t it?” He looked over Tenma with a raised brow. “After all, you saved me. I should be thanking you!”

Tenma offered a tired smile, shaking his head. “Not that. It’s just…” 

Now that he thought about it, even he didn’t know why he’d said that. His expression went from mildly pensive to tiredly amused, and he chuckled. Grimmer’s expression hadn’t changed, still watching him with that slight smirk.

“Well, I suppose...you’re welcome, anyway!”

Tenma thought for a moment, glancing around the room. It wouldn’t be long now, before Grimmer could leave. Although…

“Do you have anywhere to stay, once you’re discharged?”

Grimmer blinked, thinking for a moment, shaking his head. “I’ve spent so long on the move, I really don’t have a ‘place’ now. The doctor said that arrangements could be made, if necessary. Thank goodness for that!”

Tenma nodded, looking down at his lap for a moment, aware of a slight tension in his chest. “Arrangements”....he’d be set up with a hotel room somewhere, probably close to the hospital in case there were any issues. But that still meant...he was on his own, in that time. And while there really wasn’t any threat, not any more, he couldn’t help but….

“I have a spare room at my place. It needs to be cleaned out, but I can make sure it’s ready for you by the time you’re discharged. If you’d like.”

The words slipped out before he could really stop to think - to recognize that he’d just asked Grimmer to live in with him. It was a bit presumptuous of him, to even offer, when Grimmer probably-

“I think I’d like that, doctor.”

The acceptance was….easier, and faster, than Tenma had expected.

He blinked up, a look of surprise crossing his face. Grimmer was smiling, looking out past Tenma into the distance, at nothing in particular.

“It might be better for me, to stick to something familiar for a little while. Don’t you think? And...” He quirked a brow, gaze focusing in on Tenma then. “If anything _does_ happen, if there are any complications, I definitely trust your expertise!”

He couldn't really argue that logic. Tenma smiled, giving a short nod. At least that had gone over smoothly. 

* * *

It was just starting to get dark when Tenma returned home. He pulled the door closed behind him and turned the lock, rubbing his hands together to warm them just a little as he slid his shoes and coat off, neatly tucking them away. He padded past the kitchen, not really able to find his appetite at the moment, and instead headed upstairs to his room, falling backward onto his bed with a heavy sigh, letting the mattress bounce him back a little. He brought a hand up, tugging it through his hair with a sigh.

He’d had a perfect opportunity to speak up, to be honest with Grimmer.

It wasn’t that he was _dishonest…_ not harmfully at least. But how he felt about Grimmer was….well, he was certainly _keeping_ certain things to himself. 

He wasn’t particularly afraid of rejection; it was entirely possible, in fact probable, that Grimmer wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. He knew at least part of Grimmer’s story - how he came to marry his wife, his inability to provide her with the love that she deserved the way she had done for him and for their son. Grimmer...didn’t experience things like love the way most others did. 

But then, there was part of the problem; Tenma himself wasn’t sure if love was the right word for what he felt. Thinking about Grimmer, _love_ wasn’t the first thing that came to mind. Not even the second. There wasn’t exactly… _one word_ he could define it as, just like that confused painful feeling before, when he’d known Grimmer was going to pull through. He _felt_ for Grimmer...and he felt _deeply_...but he didn’t really know if he could put it into words.

Still, he knew he had to tell him.

* * *

Tenma continued to come by every other day, just as he always had. He brought lunch some days, and they ate in the gardens - or if it was too chilly, they ate indoors with a checkered tablecloth - a “sad picnic” as Grimmer called it, much to Tenma’s own amusement. Though, he stayed a little tight-lipped in those last few days of Grimmer’s stay in the hospital.

He’d planned a surprise, after all.

He was _especially_ quiet on the day Grimmer was officially discharged - to the point that Grimmer seemed to take note of it. Tenma led the way, Grimmer’s bag full of belongings slung over his shoulder as they made their way toward his home to get settled. He walked relatively in silence, not wanting to give away anything just yet. Grimmer was looking him over with a very faint, surprised looking frown, though didn’t speak right away, not until they were out of the hospital, walking in the slightly chilly air.

“I’m beginning to wonder if there’s some awful news you mean to tell me…!”

He almost wanted to reveal it. Tenma pulled his scarf up a little higher over his face, hiding the faintest twinge of a smile that was trying to escape. 

“No, it’s nothing like that. But I was wondering…” 

Tenma trailed off, glancing toward the other man, equally bundled, walking just a little slower than himself. Grimmer halted as he did, stuffing his hands into his pockets, silently waiting for Tenma to continue.

“Well, just...do you mind if I take us on a short detour?”

Grimmer watched him carefully, as though scrutinizing him, trying to understand Tenma’s emotions. Halfway hidden behind a scarf, he was probably struggling to get much of a read on Tenma. Eventually he gave a small nod, reaching up to tug at his own scarf a little.

“I suppose that’s alright!”

Tenma took the lead again, gesturing forward with an arm. “All right. We won’t be long, I hope…”

He led them away from the familiar path to his place. He could see the way Grimmer was looking around - keeping an eye on their surroundings, either trying to gauge where they were going or keep an eye out if they were being followed. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter; it was what he was used to.

“I wonder why it is you’re behaving so strangely, doctor. This ‘detour’ of yours…” He glanced toward Tenma, and he could almost swear he saw a glimmer in the man’s eye. “Have you plotted a special surprise for me, I wonder…?”

Well...there was no getting that past Grimmer, he supposed. Tenma relented with a shrug and a chuckle, pulling his scarf down a little to reveal the smile there...if Grimmer knew, there was no point in hiding it. 

“I guess I’m not very good at this then. But…” He wagged a finger in front of Grimmer. “You’re not allowed to start guessing. You’ll find out soon. We’re here. Look.”

He gestured toward a familiar park not far away. There were benches, a charming water fountain - though it wasn’t spraying any water at the moment - and several people bustling about - families and couples, for the most part. Beyond that there was a small hill and a field, just beyond view.

“Shall we go? All the way to the top. That’s not too difficult for you, is it?”

Tenma’s question was at least partly serious, though mostly made in play; he didn’t want Grimmer to overexert himself. He only made a face, eyes widening, mouth falling in an animated...well...it wasn’t quite a pout, but it was close - more a look of shock and betrayal from the taller man.

“You don’t think I’m so weak, do you…?”

Tenma couldn’t help but chuckle at it, bringing a hand to his mouth and shaking his head.

“No, no. I’m only teasing.”

They walked a little slower when they passed the park, reaching the hill. They could see the top a little better - trees that were almost bare, their leaves scattered in the grass. But it wasn’t until they had reached the _very_ top of the hill that Grimmer finally understood just why Tenma had brought him here.

There stood a small army of children - boys all just slightly underdressed for the weather, save a few more intelligent ones. But each was a face that Grimmer knew. 

“Mr. Grimmer!”

It hadn’t been that difficult...the ladies who worked at the orphanages in Prague had been more than happy to cooperate. It was just a day trip, nothing terribly inconvenient...and if it was to visit the man that those boys all seemed to care for so much, they were more than glad to help set up the meeting.

Tenma stood back and watched, his eyes going between Grimmer and the boys. They all looked so happy, so bright, so _glad_ as they hurried toward the tall man. And Grimmer…

His face shifted through a few different expressions - something like shock, another that looked nearly disbelieving, and then a bright, beautiful warm smile, nothing at all like those false ones he wore.

Grimmer crouched as the boys swarmed him, each trying to suffocate the man in the warmth of a hug. The energy surrounding Grimmer had shifted from the more casual, complacent peace he wore around Tenma, to something almost childlike with the boys. It was like he fed off their energy, absorbing it into himself.

He looked so happy. He really….looked happy.

“You’re all here, are you? Just to see me?”

There were excited sounds of assent, with one of the boys - Milosz, if Tenma remembered him right - who had quite firmly attached himself to Grimmer at that moment in a tight hug. He looked up with bright eyes and a smile.

“Yeah! We all came to see you! Mr. Tenma helped us all out so we could come say hi!” He squeezed just a little, making a soft, content sound as Grimmer reached out and ruffled his hair, his attention turning to each of the boys.

“You all missed me that much…?”

There was a chorus of _yeah!_ s, one of the older boys taking on an almost troubled expression for a moment, looking down. 

“You were really hurt. We heard all about it from Suk and Tenma. We wanted to see you sooner. We all...”

The boy trailed off, glancing back toward the others. “Izzy! Bring it!”

Another, smaller, wiry boy stepped forward, carrying with him a brown, slightly worn-looking book. He held it out to Grimmer, who took the moderately large ring-bound book into his hands, flipping it open.

“It’s letters and pictures we made. They’re for you. Everybody put something in there.”

As Grimmer flipped the pages, the boys went quiet, watching the way Grimmer looked over each page carefully. Some of it was writing, some were drawings - Tenma remembered seeing some of them, when he and Grimmer had gone to visit. Some of them were new, though - and creative. He was particularly fond of one drawing - an incredibly tall sunflower with Grimmer’s face in the middle. They certainly had a particular view of Grimmer.

As Tenma watched, he could see the careful attention Grimmer gave as he looked over it all; each picture, each letter. But on his face…

He was wearing that smile again, the one that wasn’t...real. It was a sign that Grimmer didn’t quite know how he was supposed to respond, but all the same...didn’t want to lose that smile, not in front of the children.

“These are all for me…”

There were a series of nods, one of the boys speaking up.

"Yeah. We've all been thinking of you! So you get better soon."

Despite the smile that he wore...the smile that Tenma knew to be a mask...there was something showing through, a feeling stronger than what the mask could contain. He saw it in the few delicate tears that clung to the man’s eyelashes, not quite willing to fall. With one hand, he reached up to dab at his eyes, blinking in confusion.

The boys seemed to notice, going hushed for a moment, with the exception of Milosz. The younger boy shuffled forward just a little, a small, somewhat shy hand placing against Grimmer’s arm.

“It’s okay. You’re okay, right?”

Grimmer paused, looking momentarily between the boys, then back toward Tenma. The doctor crouched beside him, taking the book into his hands to take a look himself, turning a warm, reassuring smile to Grimmer - just a little bit of support that the man seemed to need. 

“I think so.” he said finally, the smile once more warming his features, the momentary shock fading. “You boys did something very nice for me. Thank you for that.” He smiled, then huffed, his lips turning up into a slight smirk. “Though, I’m not quite sure why I reacted that way...that was very strange.”

Milosz seemed satisfied with the response, and gave a firm little nod. “It's alright, sometimes, nice things make me cry too. It’s okay!”

With thanks said, both men stood, the children watching curiously. There was that same, youthful energy Grimmer presented, like he was becoming a kid again himself.

“I can’t really play soccer with you today...I still have to heal up a little bit. But I’ll be the referee if you like. I’ll play with you properly next time, how does that sound?”

There was a roar of excitement, the boys immediately taking to the field while Tenma and Grimmer watched.

They spent a few hours like that, playing and watching the boys. Tenma could tell that...even if he wasn’t playing, Grimmer was happy. He really had missed the boys, just as much as they missed him.

* * *

Saying goodbye to the boys, they left on a warm note; there was no fearful uncertainty that neither party would see each other again - they knew, after all, that Grimmer would come to play with them again. Tenma watched from a slight distance; the display was as sweet as before, the boys left not sad, but excited to see him next time. They even made a point of saying goodbye to Tenma - who, he supposed, had now become a secondary figure that they liked, since he seemed to associate with Grimmer. 

Only once the boys had gone, the buses taking the boys back to their respective orphanages, did the pair finally make their way back, heading toward Tenma’s home much later than intended.

“I do believe I’ve accidentally become the father of some thirty boys!” 

Grimmer’s voice was airy, cheery, playful. Tenma couldn’t help but chuckle, adjusting Grimmer’s bag over his shoulder.

“Do you regret it?”

Grimmer shook his head, an immediate, confident response. “Not at all. I think my life may have been enriched by those boys. They certainly bring a smile to my face!”

Tenma nodded, he’d more or less expected such an answer. His gaze turned outward, toward the familiar roads. He could see birds in the distance, circling somewhere far out of view. There was probably food there. He couldn’t tell what type of--

Suddenly he felt a jolt, and the ground was rushing toward him. Tenma’s foot had landed unsteadily, his focus on the birds drawing away from where he _should_ have been minding. He let out a yelp, preparing to hit the concrete.

He never struck the ground.

Tenma found himself very firmly held in place by a mystery savior, one who proceeded to help him to properly right himself, one arm staying around his shoulders, protecting him from his own clumsy ways. A dazed sideways glance told him who his savior was - Grimmer held steadily to the mildly flustered doctor, looking over him with a severe sort of expression that only eased into a smile once he was sure that Tenma was alright.

“Well, now. We don’t need you getting injured, doctor, that would pose us both a problem!” He tilted his head, still not quite releasing the doctor, though his grip had eased. “You’re all right, aren’t you?”

Physically, he was fine. But right at this moment, his mind chose instead to fill itself with unhelpful thoughts - along the lines of how warm Grimmer's hands were, and the fear he might have jostled the contents of the bag, and-

“Tenma. Are you all right?”

The question was more gently spoken this time, but it caught Tenma’s attention all the same. He blinked, a little dazed, shaking his head. “I’m fine. I just…” He made a face, then just chuckled, turning a warmer smile toward Grimmer then. “I wasn’t paying attention is all.”

Grimmer relaxed, letting him go then, seemingly satisfied.

“I suppose I’ll have to keep an eye out for you, won’t I?” he chirped, the two once more continuing their venture to Tenma’s home. He decidedly ignored any further distractions in the distance.

Tenma unlocked the door and was more than a little relieved to shoulder his way out of the blustery breeze and into the warmer atmosphere of his flat. He let out a sigh of relief as he dropped Grimmer’s bag to the ground with a mild thud, the other man closing the door behind him. Tenma gave him a disdainful look, the slight burn in his back making itself very well known.

“I don’t know how you survived, carrying that around with you all the time. I could barely handle an afternoon.”

Grimmer chuckled as he slipped out of his shoes, setting them next to Tenma’s and crouching beside his bag, opening it to rummage through for something. 

“Indeed, it’s a bit heavy, isn’t it? But I suppose I’d grown rather used to that…” He looked over to Tenma, who was crossing from the main foyer into the kitchen, putting the kettle on to boil. “I would have carried it, you know!”

Tenma made a face, grabbing two cups from a shelf. “Yes, but you’re not allowed to strain yourself for a while. I thought it would be better if I carried it.”

He hung around the kitchen, waiting to pour tea for the both of them. He heard a soft _thumph_ from the living room, and knew where Grimmer had chosen to seat himself. Tenma rubbed the small of his back with a groan; it wasn’t that painful, more...annoying, it felt a little like he’d pulled something there. But then again with the weather cooling down...and possibly with that stumble...he very well might have. He’d just have to be more careful.

Tenma came around the corner with both steaming cups of tea, pausing a moment to take in Grimmer. He was sitting comfortably on the sofa, flipping through that book the children had given him. He wasn’t wearing that smile, or any smile at all - instead he had a pensive sort of look, something more neutral. Tenma moved to sit beside him, setting the tea down on the coffee table in front of them.

“You’re thinking about what happened before, aren’t you.”

Grimmer didn’t look up, though acknowledged Tenma’s words with a small nod, turning to the next page, the Sunflower-Grimmer drawing.

“It’s strange for me to think that something pleasant causes pain.”

Tenma wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. Pain….emotions could cause pain, but he had a feeling that wasn’t quite what Grimmer was describing.

“What did it feel like?” 

….Not helpful enough. 

“Where did it hurt?”

Grimmer looked up, letting the book sit neatly in his lap as he turned his gaze toward Tenma for a moment, searching for the right words.

“My chest felt very tight. Not so different from that time, in Ruhenheim. But not nearly so painful. It was quite mild...and I didn’t cry, this time. Not quite.”

A hand went to his chest, resting over his heart, his gaze turning down to the book those boys had put together. “I never would have imagined I would feel something like that, at being given something very heartfelt and meaningful. It’s strange.”

Tenma’s lips turned up in a light smile. He could understand why….for Grimmer, that was difficult to grasp. It seemed like a conflict of emotions, but…

“That could mean a few things.” 

Tenma sat forward, reaching for his tea, bringing it to his lips as he considered what to say.

“On the one hand, you could’ve been taken by surprise. You weren’t expecting it...surprises like that can bring someone to tears, even if it’s a positive response. Though, it could also be overwhelm. When you feel something - or a lot of things - strongly...a lot of times you can feel that. But the important thing…” He reached out with his free hand, tracing the artwork lightly with a feathery touch. “Is that it’s normal. Those are normal responses. Like Milosz said, things that are happy can make you cry, if you feel it strongly enough. And I’m guessing that…getting something like this, from those boys…something that they went to the trouble of making for you…”

Grimmer absorbed his words, watching his hand move along the work of art, before giving a short nod.

“It was definitely a lot to take in, on top of the surprise of seeing them in the first place.”

Tenma hummed, leaning back against the sofa, letting the feel of the cool leather absorb him for just a moment. He closed his eyes, letting his hands rest in his lap, the tea warming his palms.

“I felt something like that, when I realized that you were going to make it.”

Grimmer took a moment’s pause, observing him quietly, waiting for him to continue. This was all important to him...it helped him to better understand those complex emotional responses, if he heard the way that others felt.

“I was glad, and exhausted….and being told that you were going to be alright...it made me happy, but...I started crying. I could feel it in my chest, it was almost hard to breathe. That was just...a lot, too much to absorb at once. Sort of an emotional overload. But...that’s just what happens, sometimes. Emotions aren’t very easy to understand...but you don’t really _think_ about it, you just let them happen.”

It wasn’t that easy for Grimmer, he knew. Even now...he was more in touch with his emotions than before, but it wasn’t easy for him to just _feel_ the way people did, nor could he just stop analysing his, or others’, emotions. Tenma understood that. But...letting himself experience an emotion...not questioning it, just _feeling_ it, would help in the long run. He’d learn to recognize it in the future, more clearly than if he spent time pondering over what it might be, if it was the right response.

“Thank you, Tenma.”

His words were soft, the expression he wore just the same. He shook his head.

“No, it’s nothing. I know how complicated emotions are...even for me, I don’t always understand. But for you….I know it’s harder. I’d like to help as much as I can.”

There was a silence then, the two simply enjoying their tea, relaxing on the couch. There was one thing that kept nagging at Tenma’s mind, though, preventing him from fully relaxing; Grimmer’s bag was still sitting in the front foyer. They’d have to do something about that later...take it upstairs. Put it somewhere. There was a shift beside him, one that Tenma didn’t quite register until he heard a soft, contented sigh.

“I’m glad that we can do this, now. I’d been looking forward to it, to a picnic with you, and with Wim.” Grimmer’s lips curled up into a little smile as he regarded Tenma, his arm coming up around the back of the sofa, resting behind Tenma. “I hoped that we could enjoy one together. And go hiking, or fishing, the two of us.”

Tenma felt the faintest shudder of his heart, a mild excitement that he knew was probably misplaced. But he…

“It’s the same for me.”

He blurted it out, started speaking before he could think, before he could _let_ himself think. He knew that if he did...if he stopped, if he paused now to ponder, it might take him ages to get these feelings into the open again.

He took a slow, deep breath. “I’d like that, too. All of those things.”

Now that he'd started, it was all flooding out. 

“I kept thinking...that I really never got to know you. Your past, your story. I’d like to get to know more about you. And spend time with you. It feels comfortable like this.” Tenma sought his companion’s eyes, a severe, deep gaze. ”It’s something that I’ve thought about for a while. What will happen once you’ve recovered. I don’t want to see you disappear. I don’t want to say goodbye this time.”

Grimmer hummed, leaning back into the sofa, his eyes slipping closed.

“I spent a very long time, constantly on the move. I’ve been looking for answers to my past...and, for as much proof of Kinderheim’s abuse as possible. In Ruhenheim, that journey came to an end. You gave me another chance...but, I think, this time…” 

He pulled that arm resting on the back of the sofa down so that he gently held Tenma’s shoulder. There was a warm sort of glow in Grimmer’s eyes.

“I’d like to do more than live in the past, this time. You gave me a future, Tenma, and I’d like to explore it. I think...it would be nice, if you would be there.”

Tenma opened his mouth, then let it close again. He wasn’t sure….if what he was _hearing_...

“I had a lot of time to think, too. While I was recovering, I especially found myself anticipating your visits. I thought quite a bit of you. And when I did, I felt warm. I’m not quite sure what it is. It’s a feeling I don’t know. But it makes me feel...warm.” 

Blue eyes blinked slowly, the smile on Grimmer’s face growing warmer, softer.

“I feel warm now.” 

Grimmer was silent then, silent and waiting. Only Tenma...wasn’t sure what to say. 

He knew what he _felt._ What he _wanted_ to tell him, but he couldn’t wrap his mind around the concept of spoken language right at the moment. 

Tenma was keenly aware of Grimmer’s hand, still lightly touching his arm. He reached up, taking it carefully into his own hand. Rather than speak, he simply let that gesture communicate what he couldn’t with words. With a slight twinge of caution, he let his index finger draw a line along the back of Grimmer’s hand, slowly, before coming to a halt once more. He wasn’t sure, if…if Grimmer…

“You feel it, too, don’t you, doctor?”

Tenma felt that jolt in his heart again, eyes flicking up once more to Grimmer’s. Slowly, he nodded. He felt Grimmer’s hand shift in his own, so that their fingers brushed gently, not quite lacing together.

“I do.”

He didn’t bother asking why or how Grimmer made that assumption. Tenma was well enough aware he wore his heart on his sleeve, openly and readable. Even Grimmer could...probably infer at least partway, what he felt. Certainly now it was blatantly clear. He squeezed Grimmer’s hand, eyes catching once more. There was an atmosphere of… _something_ between them, something he couldn’t quite discern.

So, he just let himself feel it, and act, in the moment.

He reached with his free hand, gently touching Grimmer’s cheek. He leaned forward, so that their lips brushed in a brief, tentative moment. Grimmer made no protest, allowing the gentle gesture. He looked, for a moment, like he was about to speak up - to ask something, or say something, but then paused, seeming to consider something else. For a moment, he seemed to recoil, his lips turning down, his face pensive. Tenma felt his stomach coil in on itself, a worry that he might have acted too quickly, too soon. He needed to make sure.

“Is everything alright?”

Grimmer looked at him, seemingly confused, giving a short nod. There was a pause, Tenma relaxing just a little as Grimmer looked away. He had that distant look, like he’d gone somewhere far. Then-

“I only worry. I worry, that in the future, I may become cold toward you.” 

One hand reached, gently cupping Tenma’s face, brushing tenderly against his skin. Grimmer was looking at him again, with eyes that were filled with something sorrowful.

“I don’t want you to become lonely, because of me.”

Tenma closed his eyes, drawing a slow breath. It was a fear he could understand - for Grimmer, who had failed to provide the emotional support his wife had needed, the love for his son…

But he had grown since then. Grimmer...had grown, had become more than that. Tenma tilted his head, brushing his cheek against Grimmer’s palm, his eyes opening once more.

“I won’t be lonely. I know that you won’t hurt me. Because…” He let his hand eclipse Grimmer’s, slowly pulling it away from his cheek, holding it between both of his own.

“I’ve been watching you for a while now. When we first met. In Ruhenheim. And even now. I’ve seen so many emotions in your eyes. You might not think...or notice, but I can see the difference. When you smile, the look in your eyes. It tells me everything.” 

He released Grimmer’s hand again, tilting his head, a fond smile quirking at his lips. “Right now, it’s telling me you’re afraid. You don’t want to hurt me. But I _know_ that you won’t.”

Grimmer watched him with wide, emotive eyes that almost made him look young. After a moment, he moved forward, Grimmer now the one to close the distance. His kiss was gentle, with just a hint of passion in the moment - a bit shy, but with a clear message regardless. He pulled back, his eyes still filled with a swirl of emotions - surprise, gratitude, and affection. Tenma returned the gaze with a smile.

“There. Just like that. Acting and feeling in the moment.”

His smile shifted, becoming more of a cheeky little smirk. “You’re not bad, by the way.”

With an amused huff, Grimmer lay his arm around Tenma’s shoulders, drawing him in toward himself. His hand moved upward, fingers threading fondly through Tenma’s hair. It was quiet, for a while, Tenma simply allowing himself to find comfort in resting against Grimmer, soothed by the gentle plying of his hair. He felt Grimmer shift a little, though didn’t open his eyes.

“I’m not particularly good at it, at expressing myself, or even understanding my own emotions.” Grimmer’s tone was low, though still audible to Tenma. “But I think that this feels right.”

Tenma nodded against the other man, one eye opening, finally. “I think so, too.”

He’d wanted to stay like that, for a while. He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but finally, that annoying twinge in the back of his mind returned, reminding him that Grimmer’s belongings were _still_ in the entrance, and _still_ hadn’t been put somewhere more appropriate. With a mild groan, he eased himself up from the sofa, heading back to the foyer to grab his bag, bringing it upstairs, with Grimmer following along behind him.

He dropped it in the spare room with a soft gunt, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked everything over. He’d cleaned it up nicely, everything looked ready for Grimmer to get settled. The window could use a little cleaning...there were some smears from outside forces, but otherwise everything seemed in order. Grimmer hummed, walking by him and plopping down comfortably on the bed.

“Oh, it’s much softer than in the hospital. Wonderful!”

Tenma chuckled, taking fond amusement in Grimmer’s jovial excitement at...well, really nothing. Grimmer seemed happy with the arrangements he’d provided...he was glad of that.

“If there’s anything else I can do to make it feel more comfortable, just let me know. I’ll do my best.”

Grimmer seemed to think for a moment, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees.

“You’ve already gone to quite a few lengths, just preparing a room for me. I certainly can’t think of anything more I could need!”

He paused, leaning backward, hands supporting him on the mattress as he looked up toward the ceiling.

“Do you imagine the others will be surprised?” He tilted his head, glancing toward Tenma with a light smile. “About us.”

Tenma wasn’t entirely sure about that...at least not everyone. Lunge was perceptive; there was a good chance he had his suspicions already. 

“I suppose.”

There was another moment’s silence, characterized by a contented warmth, Tenma moving to sit next to Grimmer. The other man looked him over, seemingly pondering on something, before he finally spoke up, his expression deadpan.

“I would, though, like to advise you one thing, doctor.”

Tenma caught the severity in his gaze, giving a nod for Grimmer to continue. As he watched, that serious expression melted into something brighter.

“Just a reminder...that there’ll be no strenuous activities for me over the next several weeks…!” He quirked a brow, smirking just a little. And Tenma….well...

Tenma’s face felt very hot very suddenly, his mouth falling open just slightly, though he couldn’t quite muster up any words. He could only imagine the deep tomato shade he must have turned - though, he could venture a guess by the snicker from Grimmer. The man chortled, clapping his shoulder and shaking his head almost chastisingly, as if somehow this was _his_ fault.

“I’m only teasing, of course. Was that too much? I certainly didn’t know you would respond so dramatically!”

The mischief in his eyes said otherwise.

**Author's Note:**

> *snrk*
> 
> Well there it is….a much longer than expected silly fluff fic. Belated happy bday!!! <3


End file.
